Oh. I love where you’re pointing us – we can’t control how others see us but we can control how we see and feel about ourselves. Especially if you don’t feel like you fit in at church, because everyone else seems so comfortable there. Why assume that they’re judging you and hate you on the spot? You don’t need to be rescued from your humanity. It takes time, and may require a few tweaks to how you think or move through the world. Curiosity and generosity became my mantra rather than finding what part of me could “fit in.”, Authenticity doesn’t have to be limiting — it can expand everyone. It’s hard to feel as if you belong when your identity is not well established. "If someone is too quiet during social interactions, it can make getting to know them on a personal level very difficult," McBain says. I’ve gotten much better at this over the years (as a kid I was positive I didn’t fit in). When I realized that difference many years ago, it changed the way I interacted. "That being said, if there are certain people you feel more shy around than others, this might help you better understand the people who are 'your people' versus the ones who aren’t. I used to think I was bad at networking. I am a Leo who is very outgoing, ambitious and nice person. When I broadened my identity, I found my tribes. If you feel like a stranger at work, or live on the periphery of your friend group, it could be that you haven't found your people yet, AKA the friends who truly understand and value you. For me the most comfortable way to get to know others is by asking questions. My daughter did not have an Australian accent and apart from her newly acquired Australian phrasing, sounded like she was from the USA. This is not an anti-weed commercial. This can be super scary and intimidating, but you can’t let your fear stop you from making the first move. You don't fit in THIS world, that's why you have to seek out, or create a world you do feel comfortable in. So if you find yourself being shunned by friends, or feeling like no one likes you, it could be that you need to listen more. Some stuck while we moved on from others but in the process, it was filled with connection and meaning. I'm not human. You don't have to change who you are or pretend to be something you're not. Most Viewed Posts of 2020 to Help You Lead and Thrive, A Better Way to Ask "How Are You?" When I attend a new networking event or meet a new group of people, I enjoy hearing what they do and why they chose a certain field to work in. I often feel like I don’t belong anywhere in this world. Love this! Very thought provoking post on a topic that touches everyone. If ever there was a way to come across as awkward and uncomfortable in public, it's by caring too much about what people. It's never fun to feel left out, or as if you don't fit in. Connection is a two-way street, Paul says. I just feel like I’m different in some way. [I’m not talking about good difference either – the stuff that makes you the most awesome you that you in the universe. It feels impossible to crack, so you don’t try. Pay attention to what specifically triggered that feeling for you. Days that rock? The fact that I feel like I don’t belong, does not mean that I am a misfit, it simply means that I must use my passion, my empathy, my deep thinking to fulfil my true purpose in life, even if my path does not fit … I have struggled most of my life with the demons of insecurities, battling eating disorders, self-esteem, and forever feeling like I just don’t fit in to this crazy world. When my daughter had friends sleep over for her 4th-grade birthday party, I ordered some treats from the USA. I have been living so isolated with my parents in the country for 10 years now and have not had any friendships or social contacts in that time (except for a rare one year within those years and that ended with myself having a breakdown from abuse.) Strike up a conversation while you’re microwaving your lunch in the break room. Use your feeling of not fitting to continue seeking. Thanks so much! It can help to take some time to reflect, possibly by going to therapy, McBain says, as a way to figure out who you are and what you like. Reaching out is a compliment to the other person. Imagine you, soul sisters with Hester Prynne. “When clients say they just don’t mesh with their co-workers, I first ask them to draw five concentric circles and put the names of everyone they deal with on at least a weekly basis… Here's How To Feel Grateful Instead. But it's possible that, at one point or another, you have worried that you don't fit in. And yet it can result in more positive interactions, and maybe even new friendships. Subscribe. It’s saying yes or no based on your values, not your desire to be one of the crowd. The phrase “fitting in” may be part of the problem. But the problem wit me is different ,the problem is not that I dont fit in but I dont have freinds , i never had . Most people describe fitting in as feeling like one of the gang. When I regularly taught DiSC, I would talk to the people in my classes about flexing and meeting people where they are; that includes meeting people as who they are. Will there be days that suck? A holistic approach to surviving and thriving in the changing world of work. If I reach out people more without thinking about whether I will be fit … You know how this story ends. But until you know who you are, you’re just playing a game that isn’t any fun. Don’t lose faith my friend. Stella! Like somehow you don’t belong here on this Earth? Too different is subjective. I think knowing that almost everyone feels this way, even the ones who appear to be “tight” can also be very reassuring. fulfillment, When you lack a sense of belonging, it can be painful. Being yourself in a world where others want you to be what they want you to be is often a struggle. If you're at work, for example, and wondering why no one is talking to you, take it upon yourself to move things along. It evokes an image of squeezing and limiting rather than giving and blending. "When don’t connect with ourselves, we can’t truly connect with others and we may end up feeling not only empty inside, but also left out and isolated from others," she says. Ideal, right? All rights reserved. Remember when you were really young and thought wholeheartedly that your BFF would actually be your BFF? "Caring too much about what other people think might make you come across as awkward or anxious," McBain says. In truth, I just don’t enjoy working a room but instead getting to know people on a deeper level. One of the most common mistakes we make when we feel like we don't belong is to try and fit in. the fact i hate is that everyone asks me why are you alone , they feel pitty on me. Don't offer a story of your own, try to one-up them, or launch into a monologue, Paul says. Start groups tended to be tight, and we looked out for each other. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that you’re American? The result may be different. When you feel alone in your difference, take heart that others are having a similar experience. You are worthy of my time.” Flip the thinking to make it about the other person. Let go of the outcome and do it without yearning but truly for you. When I started working my first job, I had instant friends and colleagues. Having personally experienced both ends of the sprectrum (feeling like I fit in vs. not), as I am maturing my way of thinking about all the time I wasted in the past worrying so much what others thought about me. Hi Alli! Thank you!! Every time you tell yourself, friends and family, “I don’t fit in” you’re telling a story that you’re still writing. So if you're going through a phase right now where old friends are changing and no longer reaching out, it may simply mean you're in the market for some new ones, whose lives better match your own. And school, where you might be the "outcast." Here at Openhand we connect with evolving people all over the world, and so often we hear from people who feel out of place somehow, have probably always felt that way, and have always struggled to fit in. It’s tough to deal with feeling like you don’t really fit in. Or maybe it's just where I live? Your perspective will definitely help people get over their resistance and give it a go. Thank you! I'm lost. Instead of thinking I was the worst networker in the room and didn’t fit in at networking events, I allowed myself to accept that I’m not a social butterfly and I did fit in – not in a one size fits all mold but in the space of successful soloprenuers who network. I thought you were from Australia!”. And love them dearly but still don't feel like I actually fit in anywhere. Do I not fit with them or is the opposite true? This world of ours is so ridiculously social. I care for Animals & Nature more than humans. Subscribe now for strategies and resources to make YOUR leap and get my ebook: Seven Ways to Spark the Exceptional Leader in You a workbook to help you engage more purposefully at the intersection of leadership and life. But never really known am 22 years old and live in Virginia people really enjoy talking about themselves their! To share their stories, especially with someone who is very outgoing, and! 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